Heart Thumping

I'm sitting here waiting. Anticipation is a beautiful shitty feeling. Will it be worth the butterflies? Will the hours I've spent imagining be worth it? I long to feel that feeling again, to gaze and feel that jolt. Again, I have just been going through the motions. I have just been playing games. Not so nice but I'm so fucking bored. There has to be that feeling again. There has to be. I remember it. I liked it. In fact, I loved it. It's new, it's shiny, it's great. Will it lose it's shine? No no no. The anticipation. It's a beautiful shitty feeling.